Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Today

Today I was reminded of just how loving and compassionate my God is. I had a rough night last night at work, and the unit has been busy with a lot of sick little babies. Up to now, I’ve been able to somewhat keep my fears in check, but last night I started having significant back pain and was feeling overall uncomfortable, and that’s when the doubt and worry started to creep in. What if something happens to this baby? What if I go into labor early? What if he’s not healthy or there’s something wrong? So I gave in and paged the on-call doctor, who of course assured me that everything sounded normal and that the back pain I was experiencing was common. I saw my OB this morning at the hospital and I told her about my little “freak out” and she gave me a hug and reminded me that we both expected me to have moments of fear and worry given what I do for a living and that I would be ok. Just like she did when I saw her 2 weeks ago and she assured me that everything was ok when I questioned why I hadn’t been able to feel the baby kick yet. She is an amazing, skilled doctor and I am thankful for her kindness and understanding towards a person like me, who can lean a little on the crazy side sometimes.

That being said, I got home exhausted and ready for a nap, and very aware of what today’s date is. Today would have been my due date for the baby I miscarried in December. I’ve been aware that the date was approaching and have been pondering God’s timing and plans for the past several days. Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful for this pregnancy and this precious little boy that is growing inside of me, but I am still aware of the loss that we experienced several months back. And the beautiful thing, is that God is too. Anyways, I was lying in bed, watching “The Nanny” (which makes my husband cringe, but I love that show and watch an episode every morning after work before I go to sleep…) when all of a sudden I felt it. I wasn’t sure so I waited a few seconds and there it was again. The little flutter and thump in my stomach that was unmistakably the kick of my little boy. I pressed on my belly and he continued to move around for the next several minuted. I have never experienced anything more amazing. I fell asleep peacefully to the movement of my unborn baby.

After I woke up, I laid in bed and began to contemplate that experience. And it hit me. God knew what today would bring. How amazing that He would choose such a meaningful day in my life to reassure me of His presence. God is not only with me, but He is acutely aware of my hurts, my needs, and my heart. And He chose today of all days to let me experience the movement of my little boy for the first time. When He placed this little miracle inside me He knew exactly what day I would feel Him kick, just like He has all of his days planned for him. Rest assured, God does nothing on accident. I’ve been eager to feel the baby move and a little sad that I hadn’t so far, but today reminded me that His answer of “not yet” is always brought about by His perfect understanding of exactly what I need. Would I have been just as excited to feel him kick on any other day? Yes. Would I have been acutely aware of God' incredible love for me and just how perfect His timing is had I felt it on another day? Probably not. And so God chose to remind me of just how much He cares for me. What beauty in feeling my little boy move all the while feeling God move as well. I cried tears of humble gratitude and love over the fact that the God I serve, King of Creation, would look upon me, and consider my needs, and meet them in the most complete and astounding ways. I am thankful for the reminder that there are no coincidences with God, just continued whispers of His Presence that we are hopefully aware enough of to notice.

“Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you; And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; Blessed are all those who wait for Him” Isaiah 30:18

“Bless the Lord, O my soul; And forget not all His benefits; Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies….The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in mercy” Psalm 103:2-4, 8

“I will love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live…For You have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.” Psalm 116:1-2, 8-9

“For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;” Psalm 139:13-14

Friday, August 27, 2010

19 Weeks


Ohhh, I am not a fan of these pictures! I may have to try another angle next week...one that's not so wide!!

Pregnancy Highlights:
How Far Along: 19 Weeks
Total Weight Gain/Loss: As of my appointment last week, I've gained 13 pounds..yikes!
Maternity Clothes: Other than scrubs, all my clothes are maternity.
Best Moment this week: Hearing his heartbeat at my appointment and finding out that all of my screenings have been normal. And my engagement ring fit yesterday...yay!
Gender: Boy!!!
Movement: Nothing definite. I think I felt a kick yesterday, but I can't be sure.
Food Craving: No real cravings. I mostly want something after I've read about it or seen it on TV. Although I have been wanting PF Changs and we're going there tomorrow for date night!
What I miss: Nothing really at this point
Sleep: Sleeping better, with the occasional night where I'm up late or have trouble falling asleep.
What I am looking forward to: Feeling him kick and having my 20 week ultrasound on Thursday. We're praying everything looks great.
Belly Button: In
Symptoms: Some back pain and occasional swelling of my feet. Overall I'm feeling pretty great!

I'm so excited and thankful that we've made it this far without any complications or worries. It's been fun at work since there are so many girls who are pregnant. We definitely have a lot to talk about!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

16 Weeks

I must admit, I cringed as I posted this picture. I know I'm supposed to be growing, but it seems like that is occurring at turbo speed! Don't be surprised if next week's picture is taken in baggy clothing!

Pregnancy Highlights:
How Far Along: 16 Weeks
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Not quiet sure...I have avoided the scale these past 2 weeks!
Maternity Clothes: Yes. Pretty much everything I wear right now, especially tops.
Best Moment this week: Finding out the gender of our little one!
Gender: Boy!!!
Movement: None yet (that I can feel at least...)
Food Craving: I've been on a salad kick this week (hopefully that will help with the weight!)
What I miss: Wearing my engagement ring.
Sleep: I'm all off schedule in this department. Lately, I havn't been able to sleep through the night when I'm not working so I get up around 3:30-4 and am exhausted by noon. Thankfully, I can nap well during the day.
What I am looking forward to: Heading to Miami this week for some R&R with my best friend and her kiddos.
Belly Button: Definitely in
Symptoms: I get thirsty a lot and end up drinking a ton of water, which when eating meals makes for a very full stomach.
All together, it's been a wonderful week. As I said, I couldn't be more excited about having a little boy...they love their mommas! Plus, as my mother so kindly pointed out, Jackson probably couldn't handle having two princesses in the house right now!
I've already been looking and planning for the nursery, even though we probably won't actually work on it for another couple months....but I'll keep you posted!
Thanks again for all of the well wishes and encouragement.

Friday, August 6, 2010

It's A....

Today was the big day where we got to discover exactly who baby Jones is going to be. And without further ado, we'd like to introduce you to:

Jackson Matthias Jones!
That's right, it's a boy. We couldn't be happier about this amazing blessing. I was a little worried that he wouldn't cooperate, but I had a large white chocolate mocha from Starbucks and sure enough, the moment she turned on the machine, the first thing we saw was that baby Jones was indeed a boy! After that he got a little tired of us and turned his back to us, but after a little prodding we got to see him moving around and playing. It definitely looks like we have a thumb sucker on our hands, as he kept his hands by his face the whole time we were there! We are so thankful for this incredible gift, which is one of the reasons we chose Matthias for his middle name-it means "Gift of God".
Of course, the first thing we did after the ultrasound (besides eating) was make a beeline for the mall so I could go into Gymboree and by my sweet little boy an outfit to wear on his trip home from the hospital.

I know I probably shouldn't buy clothes as we'll probably get clothes as baby gifts, but I just couldn't help it! In the meantime, my stomach has popped out to where I look like I am a LOT farther along than I actually am, and I'm going to try and put my 16 week post up tomorrow.
Thank you all for your prayers and interest and encouragement. We are so excited to be welcoming a son in a few months and can't wait to see what God has in store for him. Here is the verse that I chose for this baby when I first found out I was pregnant, and this is what I am hopeful for:

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God..."
Colossians 1:9-10

We pray more than anything that this baby boy will grow up with a love of the Lord and for His word and that He will walk in the truth that God's word so graciously imparts.
I'll leave you with a few more pictures of our handsome little man (They're a little blurry, but it'll have to do til I can get them scanned into the computer)!