We are so overwhelmed and amazed by everyone's sweet words and prayers. We are blessed to have so many friends and family members encouraging us along the way. I'm hoping to be consistent in blogging so i can have something to look back on to remember this time. So here is how we got to where we are now.
I found out I was pregnant May 10th, the day after Mother's Day. I find it amazing that God in His great wisdom and allowed me to find out when I did. Mother's Day was a little hard given the miscarriage, and I was stuck on call at the hospital. I didn't feel well, but figured I was just tired. By Monday morning I wasn't feeling any better and I figured I might as well take a test, even though I shouldn't have been able to find out for another 4-5 days. Well, it was positive. And so were the 3 tests I took after that one! By the time Jackson got home in the afternoon, I was anxious and nervous and just wanted to tell someone. I was too excited to even think of any creative way to tell him. I think I just handed it over to him and said "here, look at this". Of course he was so excited and we went right out to buy a nice camera, which I still havn't figured out how to use!
I had a lot of time that day by myself to take it all in and I immediately thought to myself "I don't think I can go through this again, I can't have another miscarriage". But I decided right then that I wasn't going to allow this experience to be ruled by fear or worry. I thanked God for the amazing gift of a baby and said that if this pregnancy lasted 9 days or 9 weeks or the whole 9 months, I would praise Him and enjoy every moment. I read Psalm 34:4 which said "I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears". What an amazing thought. I needed to trust God to deliver me from all my fears and worry and live with the joy that He has intended for me. Our first appointment went well and I held my breath as the doctor did the ultrasound, until we saw this...
As she zoomed in, we saw the beautiful flicker of a little heartbeat and I started to cry. Everything looked great, but my sweet doctor said "I know you're nervous, so why don't you come back next week and we'll do another ultrasound". It was music to my ears. So the next week Jackson and I and our sweet friend Kim (Jackson wasn't sure if he'd be able to make it so she came with me so I wasn't by myself) headed back to the office, and that's when we heard the heartbeat for the very first time (I tried to post a video, but havn't figured out how to do that yet).
I've never been so happy in my life. So here we are 12 weeks into our journey and we continue to be amazed at God's goodness.
So thanks for coming along with us on this exciting ride! Don't forget to vote for your thoughts on whether baby is a boy or girl. And feel free to leave a comment, as I usually check them daily. Tomorrow will be my first belly shot (yikes!), so we'll see how that goes!